i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
