Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
