Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
