Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
