he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
