Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
