do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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