She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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