if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize