It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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