yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
