hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
