areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
