after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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