Whod you bang
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
she told me i tasted like america
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
