bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
