How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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