I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
