if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
