I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
