Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
