Fuck appropriateness.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
