If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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