What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
