nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
