Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
