you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
