The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
