I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
