OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
