no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
