I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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