The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
