Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My pussy is not your playground.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
