Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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