just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
