Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
