Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Randomize