4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
