OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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