as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
