She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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