It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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