we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
