i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
