y did u give ur computer a hand job?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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