dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
