I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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