nut hugger
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
