Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
