Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
