my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
