YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
