can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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