let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
