waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
