We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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