yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
