Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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