LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
