i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
