nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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