Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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