Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
